mazeofrelationships | today set a standard for bad

today set a standard for bad

By now Angel's used to it. The abuse, the demands, the sixteen-plus-hour shoots with no breaks unless Val himself needs one or he's feeling generous and decides Angel should drink some water so he doesn't pass out and ruin the shoot. Val helping himself to him afterwards, snide comments from Velvette, Vox rubbing salt in the wounds by being himself.

He hates it, hates everything about it, hates himself for being dumb enough to fall for Val in the first place, but he's used to it.

Today, though...Val was in a mood. A trafficking scenario with lots of violence and a gang rape, knives and claws and teeth. No breaks, just Angel getting his holes stuffed with dicks and his body slashed and cut up until he was sure he'd pass out from the blood loss.

Val did the bare minimum of bandaging him and only so he didn't bleed all over "the nice clean floor" which you could run a fucking wet towel over and it'd be good as new. No ride home, either, so Angel was left to limp back to the hotel, trying to block out the pain. At least the randos trawling the streets tonight weren't interested in fucking a whore when he was down.

It's late when he gets back, and he's trying to hide himself in the shadows so no one sees him and makes a fuss.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He stays still, letting Husk tend to him, the harsh stabbing pain of the injuries slowly melting away. Husk is kind to him, but he's being unusually tender. Angel must look pretty pathetic, because...there's no way anyone could care that much for him, even a fellow loser.

And then he hears the endearment, not in the company of "loser" but with soft reassurances.

Stay, he wants to beg, the physical pain is melting into emotional vulnerability. All day he's been fucked and beaten and sliced up and verbally lashed at, he craves comfort, but he's terrified of being too needy. Especially considering he's been trying so hard to respect Husk's boundaries and not be a pain in the ass.

It doesn't take long before Husk is done, and Angel's wounds are clean and bandaged properly.

There's a long pause as little bits of Husk's walls start chipping off with the sight of Angel so vulnerable, so pained on the floor of his bathroom. He wants to sweep him up in his arms, rock him and promise him that it'll never happen again, but that's so wrong it's almost funny.

Carefully, he wipes his hands on his pants, then holds out his hands to Angel. "Let's get you into something comfortable, ok? Tell me what to get, baby. I'll help."

And Angel just wants to be held close in Husk's arms, to sob on his shoulder like the pathetic wet rag he is, but he doesn't know if Husk is okay with that. He takes Husk's hand and very slowly stands up, still in his socks and underwear.

He should change the latter at least, there's a bit of blood still on it.

Right. So he's going to have to do all of this himself. Husk doesn't mind, he just re-arranges his thoughts, leading Angel back into his own bedroom.

"I... don't know where your stuff is, Angel. You're going to have to help me out here. Sweatpants, maybe a shirt, and... uh. Clean underwear."

There's a pause, and Husk steps up, moving one hand to Angel's upper bicep. "Please, Angel. Let me help you. You don't have to be alone."

"You...I've done this before, you don't really..." But he wants this, wants to be taken care of, wants to be held. Quietly, he leads Husk over to his dresser; he's not the neatest person but he keeps everything to its own drawer. Slowly, with aching arms, he takes out a pair of plain black panties, nightshirt, and sleep shorts.

"Do you want me here, Angel?" Husk's voice is both confident and nervous, a hint of... something in his tone. "I know you've done it before, but that was before."

He takes the sleep top and shorts from Angel, leaving him with his panties to replace himself.

Angel quietly changes into his clean underwear without even flinching, it's not as if Husk hasn't seen him naked already.

"I...do you want to be here, Husk? I don't...you've got other things to do, right? Like if someone wants a late-night drink or something."

Husk glances away as Angel changes, giving him a little bit of privacy that he's rarely allowed elsewhere.

Turning back, he shakes his head. "People can take a bottle and pour their own damn selves a glass if they're that needy." A breath. "If you want me to go, Angel, I will. But... I want to be here. With you."

"Then stay." The words come out, mingled with a half-choked sob. "Please, stay, today was...everything hurts, I don't wanna be alone, I...please, stay with me."

"Angel." Husk closes the distance between them, and before he can think about it, he gently wraps his arms around him.

"I'll stay as long as you need me, alright? You're not alone. I won't leave you alone."

And Angel finally lets himself fall apart. All the tears he'd been holding back since the shoot spill over and he clings to Husk, trying to bury himself in his arms but he's too damn tall even without his boots on.

Husk holds Angel while he cries, gently guiding him over to the bed so he can sit down in his lap.

"I got you, baby. Let it all out. I won't leave." He won't ever leave if Angel would let him stay. He reaches up and gently runs his fingers through the fluff on Angel's head.

With his legs draped over the side Angel fits more comfortably in Husk's arms, burying his face in his shoulder, his sobs a mixture of self-hatred and despair but also relief. Husk's arms are warm and safe, the opposite of everything he endured today.

It's a surprise how well they fit together, Husk muses to himself, holding Angel close and letting him get it all out. The spider might be literal feet taller than him, but like this, they fit.

Husk stays quiet, murmuring quiet encouragement to Angel as he cries it all out. "You're safe, Angel. It's just me, and I'll never hurt you."

"I'm so fuckin' stupid," he chokes, "all I wanted was a guy who was prouda havin' me on his arm, didn't wanna keep us a big shameful secret, Val was as open about everything as me. Said I was pretty, spoiled me with nice things...I'm just a dumb whore who thought he was in love with some guy. Now I'm fuckin' used up cum-rag gettin' fucked and drownin' in cum onscreen."

Husk's heart breaks as he hears Angel's words. He hadn't realized what had driven Angel to Val in the first place was a need to be loved.

He looks down at Angel, putting his hand on his friend's cheek, wiping a couple tears off of his cheek with his thumb. "You're not dumb, Angel. Far from it. It's not your fault that asshole knew exactly how to manipulate you into doing what he wanted." A pause, and his voice goes on, a bit softer, a bit more raw. "He doesn't know what he's got. If he realized how precious you are, he'd never treat you the way he does."

Another pause. "You're not used up. You have one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know and I'm includin' Charlie in that. You're beautiful, stronger than anyone I know, and an amazing performer." He's heard Angel in the shower a few times and singing around the hotel.

In life the only one who loved him no matter what was his sister, even when he started using and got more and more fucked up Molly was always there until the day he died in her arms from his overdose.

Two boyfriends he'd had in life, one dumped him and married a woman to pass as straight and Anthony had dumped the other one when he didn't want to commit even in private. A dirty shameful secret who wasn't worth the risk, and of course Val knew because Angel had confided in him during a "soft night in."

And here's this grumpy, worn-down bartender holding him close, wiping away his tears. Those silly boys didn't know what they had, Val said before trying to distract Angel with kisses.

This is different. He knows Husk is saying this because he means it, because he cares. And the feeling's enough to make him sob harder.

Husk falls silent, holding him close, and trying not to cry himself. If he could take away everything and everyone who's ever hurt Angel, he would, even if it meant taking all of Angel's pain and guilt on himself.

Something changes in him, and a couple tears roll down his own cheeks. "I wish I knew how to help, Angel. I want to take all the hurts away, and make it better. I..." It spills out before he can stop it. "It breaks my heart when I see you like this, Angel. I want to do something, but I don't know how, and I don't even know if I can!"

Fuck, he can hear the frustration and the tears and he feels even worse.

"Just stay with me," he sobs, "just keep holding me, I fuckin' hate everything but you, other than Fat Nuggs and Cherri you're the only good thing I've got down here."

As if on cue, the pig waddles into the room as his "Angel sense" starts going off, waking him from a post-dinner nap.

"Of course, Angel. Whenever you want." He returns his hand to his hair, gently petting him. "I'm here for you, baby. And look, Nuggets is here too. I think he could tell you're sad."

Fat Nuggets makes his way up onto the bed and snuggles into Angel's lap, Angel's third arms come out to wrap around the pig.

"Just don't let go. I...I hate it when people worry about me, especially when they cry about it, but I don't wanna be alone. I'm so sorry." Molly would often end up in tears seeing him drugged out of his mind, and he hated himself for it because even when he tried to get clean for her it never stuck.

But the day he died in her arms, she didn't shed even a single tear even as her heart was breaking.

"I won't let go, Angel. I promise." He looks down at Angel in his lap, his own heart breaking and a couple more tears slide down his cheeks.

"Don't apologize. I can't help worrying about you." A pause, and it all tumbles out. "I love you, you idiot. I'd never let you go if you'd let me hold you forever." He's pretty sure that he'd even give up booze if Angel needed it.

It takes Angel more than a minute to process what Husk just said.

"I-I must've lost more blood than I thought, pretty sure I just heard you say you love me." He can't. Care for him, sure, they're pretty much best friends at this point, but love? Every relationship he's ever had is proof that Angel Dust doesn't get that, he's always been someone's guilty secret or favorite fuck toy.

"I did say that." Husk takes a breath. He wants to slink away, to go hide from what he admitted to, but he can't. He's not about to leave Angel alone right now when he's so raw.

"I love you, Angel Dust. All of you. Even when you can't love yourself." He's ready for laughter, for rejection, but he's not going back on it now.

"You...why?" Angel half-laughs, half-sobs. "Even puttin' aside what a pain in the ass I was to you early on, I'm...I'm a mess, I let randos and actors fuck me in both holes day in and day out, that's like cheating right? A-and even if it aint..." He sniffles, holding Fat Nuggets closer. "I don't deserve you."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject