Human AU where no one died and did sins but there's still Hurt

[aschmoozerandadummy]

It's not easy being a gay man in the early 1940s, and Anthony Caruso knew he'd have to keep his sexuality discreet even after he and his twin sister left their mob family and never looked back. But Anthony is a romantic at heart, always dreaming of a One True Love like in the fairy tales. Meeting that one person who stole his heart and gave theirs back and even if they could never get married or do all the things straight people did, they'd be each other's.

Maybe he got a bit too caught up in the fantasy, because Clive was all that and more. They fell in love at first sight, spent many passionate nights together, talked about a future together. At one point they talked about running away together.

Then Clive told him it was over. I'm getting married, Anthony. She's the daughter of my parents' closest friends and they've always hinted that we should be together. Her name's Antoina. The fact that her name's so close to his stings the most. Clive wanted him, but the only way he'd ever stay forever is if Anthony was a woman. And now he's got that.

Clive was bisexual, but Anthony figured it didn't matter because Clive loved him. Except he never did, not enough to risk displeasing his parents to run away with him. I can pass as normal, Anthony, and that's...just what I need to do. I'm sorry, I love you.

That night Anthony took off the necklace Clive had given him and flung it off a bridge. He couldn't even go to Molly with this; she knew her twin was gay but she was busy with her family and of course his brother-in-law, nephews, and niece didn't know the truth. Molly passed him off as "too spirited to settle down" and Anthony was fine with that.

As it is, he'll never find anyone to settle with. He won't marry some girl just to pass as straight, it's not fair to either of them.

So lately he's been going to a local bar to sip a glass of brandy and mope.

At least the bartender's a good guy who doesn't mind some pathetic kid being sad in front of his customers.

Comments

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

Howard Jackson is known as someone who doesn't give a shit who you are as long as you pay your bar tab and aren't an asshole. The Magic Cat is a safe place for everyone of any color and any sexuality. The minute someone says something bigoted, they're banned, no questions asked.

He's known to be a former magician, a divorced single father with a teenage daughter who helps around the bar. Missy is almost always there, sassing customers, and telling couples who don't ever get to hear it that they're absolutely adorable.

Howard has noticed Anthony before, but this latest crash is almost worrying. The next time he comes in, his brandy's at his usual stool pretty much as soon as he gets there. "Alright, Anthony. What's going on? You look like hell."

[aschmoozerandadummy]

Even though he's been coming here for a few weeks, Anthony hasn't felt ready to talk about Clive. He knows how accepting Magic Cat is, but the wounds are still fresh even after he finally told Molly and she let him cry on her shoulder. I'll always have time for my twin even with a husband and kids. Besides, Max took the kids to the movies and they'll probably go for sodas afterwards. We've got time.

But they say holding things in makes them hurt worse, and Anthony's otherwise been pretty tight-lipped.

"I got dumped a few weeks ago," he says. "Been seeing this guy for over a year, says he loves me, we were gonna really make a go of it. Then he goes off and gets married." It made the papers and Antonia even looks like a female Anthony.

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

"Oh, shit." Howard winces, already pouring him another drink. "Yeah, that would take it out of anyone. Sounds like it was out of nowhere, too. What reason did he give?"

He doesn't read the papers much, mostly it's depressing, and he really doesn't give a shit who's marrying who. Missy sometimes shows him an article or two from people who leave it sitting around, but most of the time, he doesn't care.

[aschmoozerandadummy]

"Said it was better for everyone if he passed as straight. I knew he liked guys and girls both but he told me I was special. Said I was enough to make him forget girls entirely, even other guys." Anthony drains the first glass and accepts the second. "He seemed sad about it, but was he really? I just...can't help wondering if I was just one last fling before he settled down. Or some way to get back at his parents before he decided to just bow to their wishes cause it was easier."

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

"Asshole. Point him out if he ever comes in here. I'll ban him." Howard shakes his head. "My sympathies. You deserve better. He sounds like a lot of hot air." A pause. "But clearly you loved him."

A pause. "What do you like to do, Anthony? For that matter, what's your job?"

[aschmoozerandadummy]

"I did. After my sister he was the one person I thought I could trust and really open up to," Anthony sighs. "Maybe he just got scared, or his parents got suspicious and threatened him."

Really, Clive wasn't a bad guy. It's just the world they live in, especially now that even the movies they went to for escapism want to warn all queer people that being queer's a sin punishable by death or insanity.

"I'm kinda between jobs. After I left home I got into the entertainment biz, mostly stage stuff. Did some vaudeville while it was still kinda popular, danced in a few shows, sang at a few clubs."

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

His heart goes out to this guy. Navigating this world's bad enough, but trying to do so while different is absolute hell. Thinking for a moment, he leans across the bar.

"Well, we happen to be between singers at the moment. Why don't you come sing here." A shrug. "If you want to. No one'll care what you choose to sing, and no one'll bother you."

Howard might be starting to want to get to know this guy better without realizing it.

[aschmoozerandadummy]

"Really? You'd hire a sad sack like me?" Anthony almost smiles. "I could use the work. I've still got money left from the shows I did, but money don't last forever. And I'd rather stick my hand in a box of thumbtacks than go to my parents for money." Or his brother. Or even his schoolteacher aunt who loves but still thinks he's "going through a phase".

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

"That bad, huh?" Howard does smile. "How about this. Piano player's back in about an hour. Go talk to him when he gets back and sing me something. People like it, you're in. If your landlord's an asshole, I got some rooms upstairs going spare, you could set up in one if you want."

Domestic shenanigans

[aschmoozerandadummy]

Anthony has always considered himself a gutsy guy; how else was he gonna survive his family until he turned eighteen, walked out, and never looked back? Shooting deadbeats and rivals, dealing with his parents, being comfortable with his sexuality even knowing he's gotta keep it a secret, protecting Molly from jerks. Not much scares him.

But on that very small list is spiders. Not even just the deadly poisonous kind, any spiders. Too many legs, they crawl faster than he can blink. He just can't stand them, and right now he's shuddering and trying not to whimper at the one crawling close to his house keys just before he's about to hit the market for groceries.

Re: Domestic shenanigans

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

Howard is coming through the room on his way downstairs to the bar, and notices Anthony freeze. "Anthony? What's wrong, babe?" He's never seen his lover this scared before.

Quickly, he walks over, trying to figure out what's wrong and if he might have to shoot someone.

[aschmoozerandadummy]

"There's a spider near my house keys!" Anthony ends up practically wailing, immediately regretting it. Even if they live together now and are long past the whole Anthony wanting to look cool for his crush stage, it's embarrassing. Anthony's actually never told Howard about this fear and just hoped it would never come up, but so much for that.

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

"You're afraid of spiders?"

Missy comes running in with a cup and a piece of paper. "I got it, Bonus Dad." She plops the cup on top of the spider, then the paper, pulling it off of the table. "I'm on my way out. I'll take it out when I go." She kisses her dad and then Anthony on the cheek, disappearing.

Howard goes and puts an arm around Anthony. "It's gone, love. Missy took care of it. I didn't realize you were that scares of spiders."

[aschmoozerandadummy]

Anthony is as red as the tomatoes he loves to cook with, arms wrapped around his chest. "I was hoping I'd never have to tell ya, babe. Even Molly still teases me about it, it's so pathetic." She's not mean like Nicky or other family members, but still. "It's crazy, I useta go toe to toe with gangsters twice my size and not even flinch even when they threatened to make chopped liver outta me. I think animals like wolves and jaguars and even snakes are pretty cool! How'm I afraid of a little baby bug?!"

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

"Anthony. Fears are what they are." Howard reaches over and pulls Anthony's arms out from where he's clinging to himself.

"I just need to know, ok? I'd be shitting my pants at some of the stuff you just blow off easily. Missy loves bugs, so she can take care of all the bugs in here."

[aschmoozerandadummy]

With a sigh and a small pout, Anthony leans against Howard a little more.

"A lot of people would, really. Us Carusos had to get used to all that junk...well, except the predatory animals. Arthur's terrified of dogs, actually." He manages a tiny smile. "That'd be nice. I just hope Missy doesn't think I'm too much of a wimp."

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

"I'm sure she doesn't." He kisses Anthony gently. "I'm not cut out for the mafia shit. I'll just stay here in my bar and deal with drunks."

A pause. "Where were you going to go? Would you like some company?"

Well, that just happened

[aschmoozerandadummy]

Anthony and Molly's big brother Nicky has had many failed marriages, including one that makes Anthony wonder how he's committing some grave sin against morality by liking other men. What neither of them knew was that the third marriage resulted in two kids and Nicky ran out on them, leaving his poor put-upon wife Marcella to raise them herself.

Maybe that's what led to Marcella's early death from typhoid fever, because one day Anthony's just about to head to the bar for his set when he spots two kids with the unmistakable Caruso face on the front steps of the building.

"You're our father now."

The oldest one, a girl, can't be more than eleven at most. When Anthony offers to call the children's home the boy cries, begging him not to, that's why they're here. "They'll separate us." Anthony doesn't quite know how this stuff works, but the kids are both terrified and, well, he's not made of stone.

Sighing, he takes them back into the apartment. Fat Nuggets is napping on a chair, purring away in his sleep, and Anthony calls the bar and asks for Howard.

"I might be late. There's, uh...we've got a situation."

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

It's a quiet night in the bar. It seems that either everyone has decided to stay home instead of going out. It's not as if Howard cares. The bar does well enough that some quiet nights are actually not a bad thing.

When Howard's called to the phone, he doesn't think much of it. "What kind of situation? It's super quiet here tonight. Do you need me to come home?"

[aschmoozerandadummy]

"That would be good, yes." Anthony sighs. "Long story short, we have surprise visitors. They're on the couch staring at Fat Nuggets right now."

Lucia, the girl and Vito, the boy, have never had a single pet in their life due to their mother's allergies. Seeing a cat is a big deal.

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

"Alright. I'll be up soon." He tells his secondary bartender that he has a Situation at home and needs to go. No big deal.

Before long, Howard's opening the door and walking in. "Anthony? What's going on?"

[aschmoozerandadummy]

Anthony gestures towards the visitors, who go wide-eyed at the sight of Howard as if they've never seen a black man before. Probably not, Nicky and Marcella basically lived in another branch of their same white Italian neighborhood.

"This is my niece Lucia and my nephew, Vito. They're Nicky's kids."

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

"Good to meet you, Lucia and Vito." Howard smiles at them. "I'm Howard, your uncle's... friend."

Missy, were she home, would probably make a sarcastic comment or three about Husk's pause, but she's not here at the moment.

"So why are they here? I know Nicky's useless, but I didn't even realize he had any kids."

[aschmoozerandadummy]

"Nice to meet you," Lucia says, and Vito just nods. He's kinda shy.

"Their mom died," Anthony explains. "Nicky walked out when Vito was only two, guess he got tired of trying to be a decent husband and father. Dunno where he's been lately, but..." He sighs. "Heck, I aint even sure why they're here." He turns to them. "You...know you've got an aunt, right?"

"She lives too far away. We can't walk that far," Vito mutters. Right, the suburbs are a little far for a couple kids to walk it. Lucia can't be any older than eleven at most and they're both pretty tiny.

[strutwhenyourebluffin]

"Right. Well, are you two hungry? We should make you something to eat." Howard takes a breath. "We should call... someone. Molly, maybe?"

He has no idea who to call or what to do in this situation, but he doesn't really want undue attention on him and Anthony.