mazeofrelationships | Matt and Lance: Accidentally in Love

[They're at the stage of their relationship where nerves shouldn't still exist, yet Lance feels his stomach flip and flutter even though he's piloting the Lion with the self-assurance that comes with being an experienced Paladin. So there's no swerving or trailing off course even though Lance keeps taking his eyes off the vast amount of space in front of him to check in with Matt who's seated behind him.]

How're you holding up back there?

[First date anxiety is so real even when they're just heading to the space mall. It's not an unfamiliar place and it's super casual, but he still wants to make a good impression as the best boyfriend a Holt could have, so Lance has planned out shops to take him and features to show him. You know, places other than the sex shop where he's a frequent lube buyer.]

[It's not his first Lion trip, but he's definitely enjoying it. Lance is a much different sort of pilot than his sister, and he kinda enjoys it. Leaning forward, he puts his hand on Lance's arm.]

Doing pretty good. It's... actually kinda nice to be in a ship and not have to be doing something for once. I'm usually at least monitoring communications.

Wait, she puts you to work?

[Lance starts laughing as he turns back to the cockpit, smoothly maneuvering the Lion into a sharp right.]

Damn Pidge. Can't even give Big Bro a break. Well, that's what I'm here for then. Sit back and relax and the stewardess will come around for drink service in a few minutes. Thank you for flying Red Lion Airlines.

[Unfortunately for Matt, there's only juice pouches in the Lion and no stewardess to bring them to him. He'll have to serve himself. ]

Well, the one time I was in the lion with her, I had to run Voltron's cloaking. Other than that, I'm usually just... part of a crew. Just don't ever let me fly. Iverson said I was the worst pilot he'd ever seen. I, uh, didn't even get off the launchpad.

[Matt laughs a bit, and runs his hand up and down Lance's arm idly. They don't get to be too tactile when they're around other people, so every moment they can steal is so good to him.]

What the hell would Iverson know? He's got one eye and shitty depth perception. He can barely fly a spoon into his mouth.

[While what Iverson said was probably true, Lance isn't about to sit here and let his words fly free in his presence. He feels the need to protect Matt, as if someone who managed to graduate the rigorous curriculum of the Garrison needs to be protected from a man who isn't even here, but Lance is still going to do it.

The touch on his arm soothes his temper a bit and Lance leans into it. He does love these moments of physical contact.]

I mean, he couldn't even tell you and Pidge were related and she was standing right in front of his face.

He never liked me. I think he thought I got in because of Dad. Probably didn't help that I only ever squeaked by on the physical requirements.

[He shrugs, but keeps in contact with his boyfriend. It's grounding somehow, even with Lance's temper.]

I've totally wondered about that myself. I mean, hell, she looked exactly like me but shorter. Considering the press the Kerberos mission got, she must either have some amazing powers of people not thinking about her, or I'm really that unmemorable. Probably the second one.

Matt. [Lance cuts his eyes towards the other man without turning his head and the tone in his voice is deadly serious.] Don't say that.

[If anybody knows about shitting on themselves, it's Lance. He does it all the time. But Matt has so much more than what he can physically do to offer. Or rather what he could do back then because those muscles that Lance finds himself tracing with his fingers say that this is a different Matt than the one who stepped onto a ship headed for Kerberos.]

If you were forgettable, would Shiro help Pidge to go get you? Would any of us support her decision, even without meeting you? Don't let Iverson the asshole make you think that about yourself.

Can't really help it sometimes.

[Matt sighs, sitting back in his chair and shaking his head a bit.]

I've just always felt like a bit of an afterthought. Amazing family, amazing school... and then there's this asshole. I'm just... here. To be honest, I have no damn clue why it was me on that mission. There are like ten other people who were better qualified.

[Not in the brains department, though.]

Excuse me, an amazing asshole. If you're gonna dump on yourself, at least put some truth in there.

[Much like someone would pull a car to the shoulder of the road, Lance sets Red to idle alongside a set of space rocks just hanging out in the open, and turns to face Matt. This seems like a conversation that can't wait and needs Lance's full attention.]

I'm not about to act like I know anything about why you were picked or what it takes to be qualified for a mission. I'm just a guy who failed the flight simulation because we argued too much. But I think I can safely say that I'm a guy who knows that this amazing asshole sitting in front of me survived. Maybe you think you didn't belong there, I get it. Trust me, I do. But you went through so much shit for so long and you never gave up. You kicked ass and jumped right in to help us fight. I'm not sure I could say that about those ten other chucklefucks.

[Man, does Lance know how Matt feels, wondering why you're in a place where there's hundreds of smarter, taller, stronger, better looking people around you and how the hell you managed to stay there. But Lance is also fully aware that unlike him, Matt had the smarts and belonged there in the first place, regardless of who his dad is.]

[As Lance speaks, Matt's expression softens, and he reaches out, putting a hand on his boyfriend's cheek and tracking his cheekbone softly. Somehow, hearing all of that from Lance of all people almost gets through in a way no one else has been able to. He smiles, and just shakes his head, amused.]

Never let anyone tell you that you're just a joker, Lance. You are so much smarter than you give yourself credit for. And you're also a vital part of this entire fight. You keep everyone reminded of why we're doing this, why we're fighting so hard to free everyone.

Thanks. Really.

[Leaning over, he kisses him gently. Right there in the lion.]

[It's something that maybe someone should tell Lance about himself, lay out what exactly he does for the team that he himself can't seen. Matt is incredibly intelligent. Lance has see him babbling over tech with Hunk and Pidge, using words that just sound so foreign to his ears like it was Chinese or Russian.]

Nah, I'm the asshole in this relationship.

[He smiles as he says it, making it appear like he's really just joking, but deep down inside Lance still feels like he's dead weight amongst the team. There's a reason he offered to step down and give Keith back Red when Allura showed how quickly she picked up piloting Blue. He still thinks the team deserves the best soldiers, something he'll probably never be. Lance is just waiting for the day when they all realize what he's been trying to tell them all along and give him the old heave ho.]

Everybody knows what they're fighting for. They don't need me to tell them.

[All they need for him to be around for as a reminder is to remember that just because Blue picked Lance first doesn't mean they actually have to keep him. But this isn't about him and more about the man kissing him like he's something precious, a man so brave and so smart that Lance can't really think of a strong reason why Matt would want to be with him.]

Edited 2018-08-05 00:46 (UTC)

[Matt pulls back and smiles at Lance, shaking his head. He wishes he could show the other man how much he means to the team and how much he means to him. The more time he's been spending with him, the more he realizes how wonderful and amazing he is.]

One day, Lance. I'll find some way to show you how much you mean to not just me, but everyone.

[Pulling back a bit, he nods to Red's console.]

Probably should get going. Just so we don't end up a target.

[It's hard to just drop all the pre-conceived notions Lance has of himself, the lofty goals he sets for himself that he finds impossible to reach yet he's too stubborn to set lower more realistic ones. The cycle is born from there and has been around for so long that Lance doesn't know how to change this path of thinking just yet.]

Yeah, sure. If I let anything happen to you, Pidge'll murder me.

[And Lance enjoys breathing, so he turns to put Red back on course. ]

Speaking of Pidge... Did you tell her?

[Matt doesn't care if it takes years, he's in it for the long haul, and determined to show Lance how much he means to everyone. Leaning up, he kisses him on the cheek, then settles back in his chair.]

Yeah, I did. I think she was surprised, but she's glad I'm happy.

[He shrugs.]

She really isn't that scary. I think she pokes at you mostly because you react amusingly. Honestly, she really does like you.

Oh right, you say she's not scary but you're not the one getting punched and kicked and shocked by her. Babe, your sis is concentrated evil in a bite sized package.

[Lance doesn't like that Matt is so far away from him now so he slides a leg backwards, hooking his foot behind one of Matt's ankles. There. Thank goodness for long limbs as it gets him the physical contact he craves even in awkward positions.]

Oh, I know that well. Right on the launch pad, as I was about to go to Kerberos, she elbows me hard enough that I fall over. Right there in front of everyone!

[He shakes his head, grumbling a bit to himself. He scoots forward again, putting his hand on Lance's arm.]

[They're nearing the swap moon and Lance begins readying Red for landing, swerving to the left to avoid a speeding shuttle coming out of what stands for the Space Mall parking lot. A mouthed YOU STUPID IDIOT and middle finger from the Blue Paladin the most polite greeting Lance can think of giving that pilot.

He is the worst kind of driver.]

Why does Pidge's love hurt so much?

[He will never understand that girl's penchant for violence towards those she cares for. Much like how he antagonized Keith because he admired him, right? Lance has issues looking at his own behavior sometimes.]

So I guess I'll be showing up in your room with more bruises from her now that we're a thing?

[Matt makes a mental note to always be the one to drive when they get back to Earth, or really any time on land. He is increasingly certain that pilots in general are the scariest kind of drivers.

However, he just shrugs a bit.]

Not sure where she got the violence. She got the temper from Mom, though. Dad and I tend to be more chill. Until someone really pushes our buttons, and then we explode.

[There's a wry smile on his face, and he leans in, whispering gently by Lance's ear.]

I thought you liked it rough, though.

Fuck.

[Any complaints about Matt's family genes flies right out the window with his breath ghosting along Lance's ear and that little drop of filth in that tone of voice. It's by sheer miracle that Lance doesn't pop an immediate boner (or perhaps it's because his body knows how uncomfortable that will be in his flight suit), but Matt really is not helping Lance park this Lion baby straight.]

You know I do. I'm still waiting for you to push me across whatever flat surface you can find and have your way with me.

[And Lance is not helping himself there either.]

I'll keep that in mind. I have been waiting for just the right moment.

[Preferably one where they won't be walked in on by his sister. Maybe someone else, but definitely not Pidge.]

Or maybe I'll have to have you against a wall next time one of your fangirls tries to flirt.

[Now he's just teasing. Maybe.]

[He too has been waiting for the right moment, but Lance is constantly horny pre and post Matt. That's basically a given.

With the Lion set into place and Pidge's fantastic cloaking tech setting into hiding, Lance leans back into his chair and looks up at Matt with a smirk.]

Sounds like somebody's jealous.

[Lance is obviously teasing because in truth, he can't imagine why Matt would ever be. Those girls mean nothing to Lance now, he never actually had a chance with them once they discovered how big of a dork he really was, and most importantly, Lance doesn't think he's worthy of having someone feel that over him.]

Not really. They can flirt, but you're mine.

[He smirks, but after a moment, he just blushes and shakes his head.]

Ok, I can't even keep that up. Yeah, I am a bit worried about losing you, but that's just years of anxiety coming out.

Losing me? Me?

[Lance can't quite believe the words that are coming out of Matt's mouth. No one is losing Lance, not in this form. It's not like Lance has many other options out there for boyfriends, especially ones as hot and smart and cool as Matthew Holt. In Lance's view, he's the one who should be worried. Matt, with that ponytail ripe for pulling, looking pretty damn muscular under his armor? He's more at risk of being stolen away than Lance is.

His eyebrows knit together in Lance's attempt to figure out how to word this delicately.]

Hey, idiot. I'm not going anywhere. You'll have to dump me first, okay? That's more likely to happen than anything else.

[Yep, that's sure delicate, alright.]

Edited 2018-08-16 00:39 (UTC)

[Matt can't help a small snort at that, shaking his head.]

Nope. Not going to happen. I fell in love with you, and, well. The Holt family tends to fall hard when they fall in love.

[Leaning over, he kisses Lance gently on the lips, lingering for a moment before pulling back.]

Like I said. Stupid old anxieties.

[Wait. Hold on a tick. Did Matt just say he fell in love with Lance?

Lance is pretty sure his hearing still works regardless of how many knocks to ol' noggin he's received in his time of being Paladin. He's sure he still speaks English fluently and Matt didn't just spew Italian at him and something just went wrong in translation. None of that happened, yet Lance still needs to hear those words one more time, the phrase that just sent the proverbial butterflies to his stomach and made his heart skip more than just a few beats.

He grabs onto the front of Matt's cape, and holds him in place, nervous blue eyes searching the other man's face for clues that this is the universe playing a cruel joke on him.]

You... love me?

[Maybe the inside of Red in a parking lot on a swap moon isn't the best place for this kind of conversation, but they're here already. Might as well go whole hog.]

» first dates after the first time

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