Matt Holt (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tookashirototheknee) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mazeofrelationships2018-12-31 10:00 pm
tookashirototheknee) wrote in mazeofrelationships2018-12-31 10:00 pmEntry tags:
Red Paladin AU
A post for an AU of Matt as the Red Paladin!
tookashirototheknee) wrote in mazeofrelationships2018-12-31 10:00 pm
Red's Choice
Lance's acceptance of Black's choice only makes it worse. Everyone else called him out on being immature over the whole thing earlier, but Keith would have gladly let Lance be the leader if it worked that way.
And who's going to fly Red? Allura is heartbroken after he rejected her, she'd so wanted to fly her father's Lion. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge can still access their own just fine.
But who's left, then? Coran can handle the castle, but-
His train of thought is cut off by a familiar voice yelling out, and he immediately runs towards the hangar.]
Matt?!
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He couldn't help but have a proud smile when Black chose Keith. He's proud of his boyfriend, and it shows on his face. As everyone disperses to their lions, and people try their hand in Red, he gets a bit concerned. What's going to happen to Voltron now?
Before he can worry too much about it, he feels oddly compelled to wander down the hall to Red's hangar. As soon as he steps into the room, there's an almost cheerful purr in the back of his head, and Red leans down, literally eating him up. He lets out a shriek, calling for Keith. What even is going on? Why is he suddenly in the cockpit of a lion? Why is this lion lighting up and roaring? This is absolutely not what is supposed to happen.]
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Knowledge Or Death
Everything hurts. He barely makes it to the center of the empty room before he collapses in a heap, panting heavily. Suddenly, he hears footsteps, sees a familiar figure coming towards him...
Keith. They say you made it farther than anyone.]
S...Shiro...
[You were amazing out there! Another figure, the beaming smile of the man who's recently become his boyfriend; Keith's heart relaxes and he allows them to help him up.]
Matt. Yeah, I really...I made it, didn't I?
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When he sees himself there, he swallows, wondering what the hell's going on. He glances over to Shiro, concerned.]
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Before The Mission
Allura hugged him and apologized before he left, to his surprise. He'd been prepared to give her more time, but he's relieved she finally trusts him again.
One last thing before he's got to leave.]
Matt. I only have a few minutes, but...
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But he's still worried. He's still worried that Keith's going to die out there without anyone with him, without anyone to help.
When he comes over, Matt takes a deep breath and manages a smile. It's a worried smile, but definitely a smile.]
What's up?
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Dig Deep, Keith
He was part Galra, there was no need to avoid that. But bringing it up slowly delved into other things he didn't want to reveal on video, things he was well aware of and wished didn't exist. His temper, his inability to connect with people, his lack of social skills.]
I don't know why I'm that way.
[And before he can stop himself, he's spilling his most painful secret. Because his mom left him-didn't die, left him, not even a goodbye, before he was old enough to even remember her face or her voice.
She left him, and he's been afraid to get close to people ever since. If his own mother could walk away from him, what was stopping anyone else from leaving him once they decided he wasn't worth it anymore?
His eyes sting with tears, and he covers his face with his hand. No, no, not now, not on video, not where anyone could see it!]
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However, as Keith starts getting emotional, he sits up straight, and turns his communicator to messaging.]
Hey. I love you. If you need an excuse to stop talking, here it is.
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Keith's not the only one making late-night distress calls
Then he gets a message from Matt, and his mood drops, which is usually the opposite of what happens when Matt contacts him. The video screen shows a sad, shaky, nervous Red Paladin, and he immediately worries.]
Matt? What happened? Are you okay?
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However, a combination of an electrical waves, and some Galra interference separated the Paladins. Matt crashed down on a dark, forested planet, Red going completely dark.
When he shows up on the vid screen, he's been wandering through the forest for hours, and he's soggy, tired, and scratched. With the last of Red's power, amplified with a few gadgets, he reaches out to try to find Keith.]
We all got separated, and if I don't miss my guess, all crashed on planets very unsuited to our lions.
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S7 showed the lions having beds, so :3
works for me!
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The one where Matt kicks some ass
At least this time, he'd been alone when he flew right into Lotor's trap. It was humiliating to be duped so easily, but at least he could assume the others were relatively safe for now.
Fascinating, Lotor had as Zethrid and Ezor gripped Keith's arms, holding him back from attacking. Underneath your obsessive need to win, you really do care about your teammates. That was easier than I thought.
And then, something happened that made the two generals drop his arms and Lotor gasp.
I see. A smirk. So, you're like us, then. A half-breed. I can only imagine the pain that's caused you over the years, Black Paladin.
Lotor hasn't attacked him yet, which is all the more unsettling. Keith's kneeling on the floor, arms tied firmly behind his back as he glares and struggles.]
What do you want from me, anyway?! Is this just so you can hurt my friends more easily, because they're a lot stronger than you think! We've beaten you before, and I'm sure they could manage just fine without me!
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Ignoring your own pain for that of your comrades. How... human of you. It is not in the nature of a Galra to prefer any particular person over another.
We're not very different, you and I. Half-breeds through our mothers, and both successors to men far greater than we ever could be. Too bad only one of us is defying those expectations.
He pauses, thinking for a moment. So what is it, Paladin? What is holding you back? What is it that you cannot lose?]
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and we'll set this shortly after Shiro is found
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Previous threads
Caught Between a Rock and a Sharp Blade
This is what spurred him to start spending more time at the Blade HQ. Well, that, and Kolivan insisting he start training under them; you need to learn to understand and accept your heritage, Keith.
He's not great with these missions, either. He's too reckless to be a good Paladin, too emotional to be a good Blade, and life is. Not great. And the struggle has made him kinda backslide, shutting people out. He hates himself for that, too, but he doesn't want them to see him falling apart at the seams. Even Matt, his loving boyfriend.
But it's all come to a head. Because of a Blade mission gone awry, he couldn't show up to help the team when they were attacked at their pep rally, Shiro just barely managed to get Black to accept him again, and...well. He's coming back to a quiet team. Lance is glaring at him, Allura's in lineface mode, Pidge looks grumpy, Shiro is barely looking at him, and Hunk just looks sad.]
...I'm sorry, everyone.
Sorry for delay. Work is made of bananas.
If Keith is falling apart, Matt's starting to shatter. He's not a Paladin, nor a pilot, and he's beginning to realize how little he brings to this team. He's just... that other guy. Pidge has her tech, Hunk's an amazing mechanic with a huge heart, Lance, in spite of his worries, is an all-around good guy and better at things than he realizes, and Shiro's... Shiro. He's considered stepping back in the hopes that Red will realize what a bad choice she made, but everytime he thinks too much about it, there's a growling in the back of his head, and he decides not to.
So, when Keith finally gets back, Matt's huddled in the corner of the room, literally staring out into space, not really talking. To be fair, he hasn't said pretty much anything since they got back from the attack.]
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the one where Matt is so done with all of this
Then the show got bigger. Coran got more and more ideas, and their nicknames became their sole personality traits. Shiro became more of a stiff, boring hero forced to wear skintight clothes, Hunk became nothing more than a walking fart joke, the fake science mumbo-jumbo Coran has Pidge reciting is beyond cringe, and every time Matt tries to play Keith's sensitive side, Coran demands more emo. Lance is the only one embracing his stereotype.
It's not fun anymore. Hunk is embarrassed, Shiro's constantly on the run from thirsty fans, and she's sure Matt is about to snap. Honestly, ever since Keith left with the Blade for that mission she's been worried about her brother, he seems less sure of himself than ever and she knows how much he misses Keith.]
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It's idiotic. He's secretly glad that Coran doesn't know about his back and arm scars, let alone his knee, because he's almost certain that he'd probably end up moping shirtlessly or something equally awkward and painful.
Why can't he be himself? It's not like he doesn't have an interesting backstory, but no. He's just 'and then there's this asshole' again, not even useful or interesting enough to mention, even as an emotional part of Pidge's backstory.
After yet another show, Matt goes out back behind the arena, avoiding all of the fans and people, and leans against a wall, trying not to cry. It's there that he decides. Before anyone can come look for him, he runs off, grabs Red (still the only thing he can fly) and zooms off. As he goes, he starts to scramble his communications, trying to make Red untraceable until she can get him somewhere that he won't be found.]
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Few more tags with Pidge and the others before I switch to Keith?
Sounds good!
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When teasing goes too far
In the past, her and Hunk's little skit would be met with Lance firing back at them. Making fun of their little modulation argument or likening them to stereotypical Mad Scientists. Today, though, he'd practically been in tears as he stormed off.
She's made fun of his fawning over Allura before, but after he left, Hunk immediately seemed to realize maybe they'd gone too far. They did, didn't they? They'd actually hurt Lance.
They're not mind readers, and Lance had been getting annoying about Allura lately. But he was hurt, there's no trying to make excuses around that.]
Matt? Are you busy?
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[Matt's at his desk, prodding at something on his tablet.]
Come on in.
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Confrontation
What can they do about it? It's bigger than all of us combined, even Allura can't fix it, can she? It's just this darkness that feels like it's taking over him more and more, making him lash out and snap at people. Looking back, his demands of Keith were a warning sign; normally he would have encouraged Keith to talk about why he was avoiding the team rather than just lecturing him.
He's about to hit the training deck when he bumps into Matt.]
Oh...hey, Matt.
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[It's the most awkward he's been around his friend in quite a while, and he's beginning to wonder if he's in over his head. But, no. Shiro saved him, now it's his turn.]
How're you doing?
[Nailed it, Holt.]
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should we keep going with Pidge or Lance or someone finding Matt?
Yeah! That would be good.
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When the dust settles
Shiro had survived the battle with Zarkon, but the one Keith had brought back wasn't their Shiro. The real Shiro had been kept prisoner, this time by Haggar, while the Shiro whom Keith had brought back was a clone created to spy on the team...and on Lotor, apparently. The clone had attacked Keith and Matt, Keith remembered nearly falling to his death only for Black to save him at the last minute.
The battle with Lotor, going into the quintessence field. The holes created by Sincline, the sacrifice of the Castle of Lions...and of Shiro's clone. When Matt tripped coming out of the castle, the clone had stayed behind to help him and shove him out.
We would have taken him with us. He could have lived, gone home with Shiro, been his brother.
No one was doing well. Romelle had accused them of "simply moving on," but what else could they do? They couldn't bring back the castle, rewind time to stop Lotor, they had to get back to Earth.
Shiro was a mess, he'd refused to even talk to anyone until Keith and Matt managed to snap him out of his grief...or at least got him to let out the feelings he'd been holding back.
Allura was clinging to Coran and Romelle and Lance, blaming herself for getting too close to Lotor. Not out loud, she wasn't one to broadcast self-pity, but she stuck close to them and often looked sad, almost questioning every decision she made or idea she came up with.
Hunk and Pidge were trying to come up with a backup for the castle, and Krolia was basically checking in on everyone here and there.
Keith and Matt had barely left one another's sides the whole time. Matt was a mess, Keith was overwhelmed not just from recent events but from just how much he'd missed the love of his life while he was gone for two years.]
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When his damn knee gave out as he was trying to get out of the castle, he was pretty sure that was the end... and then the clone pushed him out, getting stuck in there himself. It made all of the Arena memories come back, but he couldn't do anything about it. He had to snap Shiro out of himself, he had to keep going, to get the rest of the the team going and keep them going as much as they could.
He'd about snapped at Romelle at one point. Moving on is what the universe needs us to do at the moment. No one's got the time for mourning or self-pity. It's harsh coming from him, but it's the only thing keeping him going at the moment.
It was only now, as they were going back to Earth that everything was creeping back. He'd have to put Red on autopilot sometimes and go in the back, just to curl up on a bed and shiver, the flashbacks finally taking over. He's careful not to let anyone see, to keep all of this as close to himself as he can.]
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this is before they learn wolfie can teleport
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In which Pidge feels guiltier than she probably should
It makes her feel bad. Guilty. Because this whole time she's been pulling away from everyone but Shiro, never shutting up about finding her family...Keith may have been a jerk, but she'd seen the look on his face when she told them she was leaving. And how happy he was when she came back, he didn't even hold earlier against her.
And I was a bitch to Allura, too. All she was trying to do was make friends and I just yelled at her.
Sometimes she wonders if she uses her tough middle school years as an excuse to push people away. The kids were assholes and she knows she's better off, and she couldn't afford to make friends at the Garrison for obvious reasons. But everyone here's been perfectly civil to her, or at least no one's called her names, pulled her hair, or stolen her things.
(Other than Hunk looking through her notes, but at least that turned out to be relevant to their findings.)
And Allura. A princess who's just lost everything she knew and loved, probably didn't have friends herself because of her rank and station... She just wanted to reach out to me and I was such an ass.
She owes the entire team an apology for being a spoiled brat, but Allura especially. So she heads to her room and quietly knocks on the door.]
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She startles when she hears the knock on the door, sitting up and forcing her voice into something that resembles calm.]
Yes? Who is it?
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pretend Pidge referred to herself as a dude in the last tag
That's ok, I totally missed it! (also, work is work-like today, ugh.)
I thought so D: /pets
It's just That Kind of Day. People are cranky.
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